What a Guys Trip Taught a Middle-Aged Introvert About Friendship

It started as concepts, good and unhealthy, usually do: in a bar.

My soccer membership — a gaggle of largely middle-aged dads in suburban New Jersey — was having fun with its weekly post-match pint after we started speaking about how enjoyable it could be to play towards an identical crew in Mexico Metropolis, the place a number of of our gamers grew up. The concept steadily gained momentum till, immediately, in the future final December, we have been shopping for airplane tickets.

However let me again up: A couple of years in the past, I moved to Madison, N.J., after a long time in New York Metropolis. I knew nobody there outdoors of my household. Busy with work and getting my daughter settled, I didn’t have a lot time to consider socializing. As an introvert who works from residence, that was by no means going to be straightforward. As a 50-something, I’d met my closest mates a long time earlier. Did I even want new ones?

What I did wish to do was convey my soccer behavior with me from the town. Finally, by way of my neighbor Andrea, who was born in Italy, I discovered a daily pickup recreation. The primary match was satisfying and the group appeared affable, so I stored displaying up.

Principally expats, my new teammates ranged in age and background, and I loved being uncovered to their views. The youngest, Jorge, an elementary schoolteacher initially from Colombia, was not fairly half my age, and we joked about my adopting him.

As we acquired to know each other higher, we grew to become extra like a crew — full with jerseys with our customized “Madison Soccer and Beers” emblem — and our actions began to develop. We’d collect for a cookout or go mountain biking; we even tried paintball. Quickly, I used to be telling the fellows how fortunate I felt to have discovered them, and so they have been saying equally sappy stuff.

After a couple of months, I started to understand my starvation to play soccer wasn’t totally concerning the recreation. I used to be in search of connection. However because the journey to Mexico loomed, I started to have a couple of doubts: I used to be the oldest man by some 10 years — would I be capable of sustain? Did I actually wish to share an Airbnb with 14 others? And would I get roasted for my excessive sleep routine: eye masks, mouth tape, wall of white noise?

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